Lies & Morning Coffee.
The past few days in Bo have been busy and full and rich in grace in so many ways. But they’ve also been full of hardship and struggles and difficulty. I’ve been feeling really attacked by the enemy the past few days. My head is filled with thoughts that I’m not needed here. I’m not contributing anything and everyone would be better off if I wasn’t here. These thoughts have been swimming in my brain, but I’m trying to focus on the truth that is surrounding me rather than the tiny seeds that the devil has planted. I’m trying to kill the seed before it grows into a weed. And I’m choosing to notice truth in the simple things.
I like getting up early here. There’s something about the stillness and the silence and even though I am NOT a morning person, I like being the first one awake so I can go into the kitchen, shut the door, make a pot of coffee and look out at the Andes mountains right as the sun is peeking. It’s so beautiful and I see God so clearly that way.
I like being part of something. I don’t mean just anything, like work projects or team devotionals or whatever. I like being a part of something so much bigger, something that I don’t yet understand but I know is happening. Walk by faith and not by sight, right? I love that God works in this way. I love that I am feeling defeated and tired and worn out and I’m wanting to quit. Because I know that God is MOVING in these moments. He is working so hard and He is NOT going to let me fall. This morning at our intern devotional we talked about how faithful God is, and how if you look back on your life you can see it so clearly. Never have I felt anything more true and also so painful. It hurts to think that I have to go through pain and suffering to experience the joy. But that’s faith, right? Trusting that through it all, God is working and is going to make something even better than I ever could imagine. I just have to be still.
Thank you all for continued support and prayers, they are so needed and so appreciated!